Thoughts on Marriage

A couple of weeks ago I got a phone call from the Young Women's president in our ward. She told me that the Young Women were very boy-crazy and wanted to hear real life love stories. She asked if Spencer and I would be willing to be on a "Dating Panel" and answer questions about our dating story, getting engaged, marriage, etc. at an activity toward the end of May. I really wanted to do it but didn't know if we were the best couple to be asking since our entire courtship/engagement/wedding date happened in a short 9 weeks! She told me that the leaders were trying to help the girls know that because we are blessed with the Spirit to help us feel good about deciding who to marry, this important decision can be made in any length of time. That being said (and after quickly making sure Spence would be on board), I said yes!

We got to the church and were joined by a newlywed couple (married 11 months) and an empty-nester couple (married 40 years.) We were the token "middle-aged-with children" couple (though I don't think of myself as middle-aged...I'm 31 for crying out loud! But we do have 5 kids so I guess we were qualified.) Two of the older Young Women acted as the MC's and asked a series of questions to each of the couples. Some questions were directed to just the men, some to the women, some to the couples. We got engaged 11 years ago (June 1st) and it was really fun for me to hear Spencer answer some of these questions. I was told later that the girls said it was the best activity they had ever been to! So I guess it was a win-win for everyone.

Questions/Answers
Q: How long have you been married? A: Almost 11 years

Q: When and where did you first meet your spouse? A: We first met in March 2000 at work. I (Natalie) was his boss!

Q: When was your first date and what did you do? A: Spencer says our first date was April 26 but really that was just the first day we did anything outside of work. Spencer was in the process of training for a new position and he was supposed to come in for training but something came up and the trainer asked me to call and cancel with Spence so he wouldn't come in to the office. Spence & I had been casually flirting for a while and he was very interested in what I would eat. I was on a low-carb diet and he thought it was so funny when he'd ask what I was having for dinner and I'd say a steak or a pork chop. It just wasn't the typical girl response, I guess. I had told him the previous day that if he asked me what I was eating anytime soon, he could take me to dinner and see what I ate! Well, when I called to tell him not to come into work, I asked him what he was planning for dinner. He replied, "a hotdog." Then he asked me and I told him we were going to the Golden Corral (it was brand new) to celebrate a friend's birthday (Thanks for having a birthday, Esther!) He said how fun that would be and that he wished he could come, etc. I told him that if I could drive his NEW car, he could go with us. He agreed. When we got to the restaurant and went to pay, my friend Dan's card wouldn't work so I told him I'd just pay for him. Spencer quickly said, "If you're paying for him, you'd better pay for me too!" So I did. Unbeknownst to me, Spencer had told him roommates that he was sick of the dating scene and wasn't going to ask a girl out. He said that if a girl asked him out, then he'd know she was the one for him! So by having me pay for his dinner, he could later justify that he hadn't asked me out...Whatever!

Q: What was the first thing that drew you to your future spouse? Nat's answer: I first heard Spencer's voice before I remember meeting him face-to-face. I had just started working for the airport shuttle and they wanted me to know all parts of the job, even though I would be working in the office only. So they sent me on a shuttle with one of the drivers from Logan to Salt Lake. It just so happened that the driver was Spencer's friend/roommate, Wade. On the road, Wade used the CB radio (that shows how long ago it was, huh?) to talk to Spencer. This is the conversation as I remember it..."Mobile 23(Wade) to Mobile 21 (Spencer), What's your 20?" "I'm in Plain City." "And how is Plain City, Mobile 21?" "Pretty Plain!" At that moment, I remember thinking...that kid has a fun personality. I'd like to meet him.
Spence's answer: I remember meeting Nat long before she remembers meeting me. She was just starting at the shuttle and was the only girl employed there! I was working two jobs at the time. I worked 3 am to 11 am at Icon Health & Fitness and then went to work for the Shuttle in the afternoon. Often, I would go straight from Icon to the shuttle so I'd stop and get lunch on the way. I remember walking into the office and seeing the new girl. She had long, dark brown, curly hair and I've always been a sucker for brown hair! I sat at her desk and ate my lunch and did my best to flirt with her but since she doesn't remember it, I guess I didn't flirt very well!

Q: What is your spouses best characteristic? Nat's answer: On our first "date" I watched Spencer interact with all of my friends. Though he knew none of them before we went out, he easily talked with each one of them. I've always loved that he can get along with almost anyone and people (especially the elderly) are drawn to him. He makes everyone feel important.

I can't remember the wording to one of the questions but one thing Spencer said that I liked hearing is that he liked that I liked HIM. He lived with Wade, the all-American athletic type, Jon, who does stand-up comedy and is hilarious, and Beaver, his best friend and all-around good guy, when we first met. I knew Wade & Jon from work and Spencer says I could have chosen to date either of them...but I chose Spencer and he's always like that! I liked him for who he was and never compared him to his friends or roommates.

Q: When did you know that you wanted to marry your spouse? Spencer: I think I knew I wanted to marry Natalie before she knew she wanted to marry me. It wasn't a hard decision for me.
Natalie: After Spencer and I had already discussed getting married and were going to go ring shopping, he said, "When I tell my mom that we're getting married, she's going to ask if we've prayed about it together." So we knelt together and prayed to our Heavenly Father. We both felt warm & fuzzy immediately and knew that our Heavenly Father approved.

Q: How did he propose? (As a side note, the other two men on the panel were extreme romantics. Spencer's more practical so our story was the least fun, oh well.) A: Spencer picked up my ring on our way to his sister Kate's high school graduation. He didn't want to leave it at either of our apartments or in his car while we went to the graduation so he stuck it in the pocket of his cargo shorts. Keep in mind that the ring was in a box which was in a box so it wasn't very discrete. As we walked in to the gym, it was obvious that there was a BOX in his pocket and most people knew that the box was a special box by the way Spencer was acting. After graduation we went to his parent's house. He took his mom and sister into the other room and showed them the ring. I could just hear Ooohs and Ahhhs...I wanted to see the ring myself! We drove back to Logan and Spencer got really quiet. We were driving all over and he kept doing U-turns and backtracking. I finally asked him what was going on and he said, "I can't find the place!" (Spencer started talking from here.) I had found this little spot while I was driving the shuttle where you could see the Logan temple. I knew that Nat would either go through the Logan temple or we'd get married there so I thought it would be perfect! But for some unknown reason, I couldn't find it that night. We ended up pulling off to a little park where I asked her to marry me.

Q: What is the best thing about being married? Spencer answered this one: Occasionally we go to bed not very happy with each other. But every single morning, when I wake up and look at her next to me, I know I'm exactly where I want to be. I wouldn't change a thing!

There were other questions/answers but these are what I can remember at this point. Between doing this panel and talking about our engagement anniversary, I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. I'm grateful to be married to my best friend and to be able to have five adorable children and many adventures together.

And it looks like we'll be having a wedding this summer...Callie & Mike are officially engaged and planning for a September wedding!